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Alternative Solutions
A husband sends this letter to his wife:
Dear Sweetheart,
I
can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband
Allen
His
wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending
the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed
after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
instead of the rent.
4.
Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him
some
other items...........
5. Other expenses
40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and
I hope I can complete the month using
this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart ;)
The Four Cats !
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer, the
second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off,
the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and
pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the
Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet
went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.............
Everyone
agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do
your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and
poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then
the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Government Employee called his
cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet,
ate the cookies,
drank the milk,
shit on the paper,
screwed the other three cats,
claimed he injured his back while doing so,
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions,
put in for Workers Compensation, and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............
Age - Weight
- etc
A Mom is driving her little girl
to her friend's house to play.
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?"
Mom: "Honey, don't ask a lady her age,"
.
"Ok," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now stop the questions!" These
are personal questions and are really none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and
daddy get a divorce?"
"That is enough questions!" The exasperated
mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything" the little girl
says to her friend.
"Well," said the friend, " .. all you
need to do is look at her driver's license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."
Later that night the little girl says
to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find
that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother is past surprise and shock. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"
"Annnnd," the little girl says triumphantly,
"I know why you and daddy got a divorce."
"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex."
God Bless You
Thimble
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a
river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared
and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble
had fallen into the water and that she needed the thimble to help her husband
in making a living for the two of them.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden
thimble.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a wooden thimble. "Is this your
thimble?"the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord went
down again and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?"
the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all
three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and
her husband fell into the river. When she cried out, The Lord again
appeared and asked her, Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen intothe water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson.
Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the
seamstress.The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress
replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You
see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom
Cruise.Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had
I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the
best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands,
so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Mel Gibson."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good
and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
Who's in charge!
All the organs of the body were having
a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain,
"because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood,
"because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"
because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs,
"because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes,
"because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum,
"because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the
rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible
headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should
be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The butt hole is usually
in charge.
Women
in Afganistan
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul
several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their spouse,
as a sign of submission to the superiority of the husband.
She returned to Kabul recently and observed that women still
walk behind their husbands, but now seem to walk even further back and are now happy with the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached
one of the Afghani women and asked, "With the removal of the Taliban and the new government recognizing the equality of
women, why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you used to try and change?"
the woman said "Land
mines!!!!"
I've learned
I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.
I've learned....
That we should be glad God answers all prayers - however misguided they are
Remember - NO is an answer......
I've learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person
continue to hurt you.
I've learned....
That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned....
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people
smarter than I am.
I've learned...
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he
passed away.
I've learned...
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may
have to eat them.
I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks
I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done
Interview with God
I dreamed I had an interview with
God.
So you would like to interview me? God asked.
If you have the time I said.
God smiled. My time
is eternity.
What questions do you have in mind for me?
What surprises you most about humankind?
God answered...
That
they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.
That they lose their
health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.
That by thinking anxiously about the
future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.
"That they
live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.
Gods hand took mine
and we were silent
for a while.
And then I asked...
As a parent, what are some of lifes lessons
you want your children to learn?
To
learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.
To learn that it is not
good
to compare themselves to others.
To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.
To learn that it
only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.
To
learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.
To learn that there are
people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.
To
learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.
To learn that it is not enough that
they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.
"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is
there anything else
you would like your children to know?"
God smiled and said,
Just know that I am here...
always.
Psychological Test
It is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her mother,
she met a man whom she did not know.
She thought he was amazing,
her dream guy, and she fell in love with him but never asked for
his number and could
not find him after the funeral.
A few days later the girl killed
her sister.
Question:
What was her motive in killing her sister?
Give this some thought before you
scroll down
Answer:
She
was hoping that the guy would appear at the sister's funeral.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a
psychopath. This was a
test that a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the
same mentality as a killer.
Many arrested serial killers took this test
and answered it correctly.
If you didn't answer correctly, good for
you.
If you DID answer correctly, please let me know so I can take you off my e-mail list.
Mother
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to
normal after you've had a baby . . somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, normal is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct
. . . somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring . . somebody
never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child
will "turn out good" .. somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices
. . somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a
mother . . . somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much
as you love the first. . . somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to
her child-rearing questions in the books . . . somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is
labor and delivery. . somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten
. . . or on a plane headed for military "boot camp"
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes
closed and one hand tied behind her back . . somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her
child gets married... somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last
child leaves home... somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you
don't need to tell her . . . somebody isn't a mother.
Reason
God put us here on earth,
To love, to live, and to
learn,
To obey His Golden Rules
And for Him we should be firm.
He wants us to be an example
Of all that He
stands for,
To love everyone on Earth
And to have Faith and Trust and more.
We are in a way His disciples
For
the years we live on earth,
He wants us to spread His word
With compassion and much mirth.
God put us here on
earth,
He has a reason for us being here,
Our lives have a definite purpose
Economics!
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your
herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US
for financial
aid, China
for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines,
Germany for technology, French for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia
for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all
this
and claim of exploitation by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You
have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You
Profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some
Nation
with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind
You wage a war to save
the world and grab the cows.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You
re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month
and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none
of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow
images called Cowkimon
and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn
you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine
productivity and arrest anyone
reporting the actual numbers.
IRANIAN
ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know economy.
You choose one of them as the leader of
your country and the other one as
the president.
16 Things that it took me over 50 years to learn
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not
achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "Meetings"
3.There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want
you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason
why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that
you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big
deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,gender,religion,
economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the
Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be
bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!
"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!" The shortest distance between a
problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.
The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Love and
peace be with you forever, Amen.
Power of mind
The phaomnneil pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aoccdrnig
to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng
is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit
porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe.
Ptrety amzanig
huh?
P.U.S.H
A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly
his room filled with light.
The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his
cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. So, this the man did,day after day.
For
many years he toiled from sun up to sun down;his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving
rock, pushing with all of his might.
Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole
day had been spent in vain.
Since the man was showing discouragement, the
adversary (Satan)decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind:
"you have been pushing against
that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved."
Thus, giving the man the
impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.
Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this?" "Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough."
That's what he planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.
"Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service,putting all my strength to do that which you have asked.
Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter.
What is wrong? Why am I failing?" The
Lord responded compassionately,
"My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was
to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you
to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is
that really so?
Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are
callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much,and your abilities
now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and
to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done.
Now, my friend, I will move the rock."
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually
what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains,
but know that it is still God who moves mountains.
When everything seems to go wrong ... just P.U.S.H.!
When
the job gets you down... just P.U.S.H.!
When people don't react the way you think they should.just
P.U.S.H.!
When
your money is "gone" and the bills are due...just P.U.S.H!
When people just don't understand you ...just P.U.S.H.!
P=
Pray
U= Until
S= Something
H= Happens
50
Promises For Marriage
1. Start each day with a kiss.
2. Wear your wedding ring at all times.
3.
Date once a week.
4. Accept differences.
5. Be polite.
6. Be gentle.
7.
Give gifts.
8. Smile often.
9. Touch.
10. Talk about dreams.
11. Select a
song that can be "our song".
12. Give back rubs.
13. Laugh together.
14. Send a card for no reason.
15.
Do what the other person wants before he or she asks.
16. Listen.
17. Encourage.
18. Do it his
or her way.
19. Know his or her needs.
20. Fix the other person's breakfast.
21. Compliment twice
a day.
22. Call during the day.
23. Slow down.
24. Hold hands.
25. Cuddle.
26.
Ask for each other's opinion.
27. Show respect.
28. Welcome the other person home.
29. Look your
best.
30. Wink at each other.
31. Celebrate birthdays in a big way.
32. Apologize.
33.
Forgive.
34. Set up a romantic getaway.
35. Ask, "What can I do to make you happier?".
36. Be positive.
37.
Be kind.
38. Be vulnerable.
39. Respond quickly to the other person's request.
40. Talk about your
love.
41. Reminisce about your favorite times together.
42. Treat each other's friends and relatives with
courtesy.
43. Send flowers every Valentine's day and anniversary.
44. Admit when wrong.
45. Be
sensitive to each other's sexual desires.
46. Pray for each other daily.
47. Watch sunsets together.
48.
Say, "I love you" frequently.
49. End the day with a hug.
50. Seek outside help when needed
Memo from God
To:
YOU
Date:
TODAY
From: GOD-The Boss!
Subject:
YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling
All of your problems for you.
I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.
GOD
P.S. And,
remember....
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you can not handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself
!! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box.
I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved,
but in My time, not yours.
P.P.S.
Once the matter
is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus
on all the wonderful things that
are
present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck
in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been
out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and
be loved in return.
Should you grieve the
passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her
children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance;
Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair
to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss
and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose?
Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough
to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself
the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could
be one of them!
Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you
will never know!
Now, you have a nice day,
God
Spritual
Garden
Plant 7 rows of Peas (P's):
1. Prayer
2. Promptness
3. Patience
4. Preparation
5. Perseverance
6. Politeness
7. Purity
Plant 7 rows of Squash:
1. Squash Gossip
2. Squash Indifference
3. Squash Criticism
4. Squash Negative Thinking
5. Squash Envy
6. Squash Jealousy
7. Squash Hatred
Plant 7 rows of lettuce (Let Us):
1. Let us be unselfish and loyal.
2. Let us be faithful to duty.
3. Let us search the Scriptures.
4. Let us not be weary in well doing.
5. Let us be obedient in all things.
6. Let us be truthful.
7. Let us love one another.
No garden is complete without turnips (Turn-ups):
1. Turn up with a Friendly Smile.
2. Turn up for Church.
3. Turn up for Bible Study.
4. Turn up for Prayer Meeting.
5. Turn up with Determination to Do Your Best in His
Service.
6. Turn up to Praise God and not man.
7. Turn up to receive the Holy Spirit and
not to Quench the Spirit.
AFTER PLANTING, may you:
Keep Saturated with Love -
Reap a Harvest of Peace, Joy, & Happiness
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I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black
box,
And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each
day,
The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count
your blessings,
The black is for you
to let go."
King and his four wives
Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved
the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but
the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However,
he feared that one day she would leave him for another.
He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and
was always kind,considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would
help him get through the difficult times.
The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions
in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took
notice of her!
One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered,
"I! now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone." Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most,
endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you.
Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep
me company?"
"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word.
Her answer cut like
a sharp knife right into his heart. The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying,
will you follow me and keep me company?"
"No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going
to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and
you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"I'm sorry, I can't help you
out this time!", replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave."
Her answer came like
a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated.
Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you and follow you no matter
where you go."
The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was so skinny as she suffered from malnutrition
and neglect.
Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"
In
truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives: Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making
it look good, it will leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth.
When we die, it will all
go to others. Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can
stay by us is up to the grave.
And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures
of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish
it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.
When
the world pushes you to your knees.....You're in the perfect position to pray.
Kids Tell All
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the
same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and
dip coming.
--Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they
Grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with.
--Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT
AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
--Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You
Got to be a fool to get married.
--Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER
TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on Whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids.
--Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
--Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE
DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other.
Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each
other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
--Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO
ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next
day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
--Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO
KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. --Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen,
so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
--Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have
kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
--Howard, age 8
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have
sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
--Theodore, age 8
It's better for girls to be single but
not for boys.
Boys need someone to clean up after them.
--Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD
BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to
explain, wouldn't there?
--Kelvin, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE
A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty,
even if she looks like a truck.
--Ricky, age 10
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